I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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