I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
