Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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