I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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