Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
