he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
