It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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