I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
