I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dude. I can hear the air.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
