At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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