Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
