Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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