Dignity is for republicans.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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