Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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