I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
