The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
