I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
