I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
