I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I've blown a few things in my day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
