We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
