Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
