i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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