dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
