omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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