ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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