i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They took my balls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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