...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
