she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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