Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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