just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
