I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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