This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
