The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
