he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I fill condoms, not promises.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
