Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I love you. Go after that dick
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
