Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
