He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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