Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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