Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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