That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we're making bets on your personal life
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
