I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
