im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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