My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
