sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think my vagina is haunted
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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