make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
