it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
