and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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