After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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