how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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