I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
