you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
