she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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