Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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